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Q.

Further to my last question in a case when the husband has married twice or has a keep or both , then it certainly pains the first wife.But in maximum cases we see that the wife forgives her husband ( e.g. Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky).
How far is this true forgiveness or is it just an adjustment to stay together as most wives are financially dependant on their husbands.What should be the right approach of the wife in such cases?Pls consider the financial dependency of the wife and also the social status of a single lady in Indian society while answering.Thanks.

Tags: husband, thanks, relationships
Asked by HEMANT MEHTA, 03 Jan '10 09:59 pm
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Answers (10)

1.

Mr.Mehta I don't know what kind of an answer you expect. If you are speaking of a 50 plus middle class lady most probably she will keep quiet. Where will she go? If she has guts she can file a divorce case against her husband on grounds of adultery. She will win the case that is for sure and these days the court will definitely make sure the husband gives her a house plus enough maintenance to help her live comfortably.
If the wife is young she won't think twice but dump her adulterous husband like yesterday's garbage and move on. Let me tell you that I travel by local train daily and i meet women from all classes and all age groups. If you meet these young, educated and high earning women of today, you'll know that their husbands will be selected by them with great deliberation and if the husband dares to stray he has had it.
Answered by joyoti sen, 03 Jan '10 10:09 pm

 
  
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2.

These kind of situations vary from person to person. Women will behave differently and much depends on their cultural background. Each case will have to be analyzed to know the correct answer. You cannot measure them all with one yard stick. I have seen women having children and financially dependent on their husband usually keep quite. I don't know whether they forgive their husbands or not but apparently it seems they have forgiven them. The women with grown up children, educated, the one who knows her right will not take it lying down. She might even give the husband a taste of his own medicine. I recommend that the wife should pay her husband back in the same coin and let him know what it means to be unfaithful.
Answered by Jack Johnson, 03 Jan '10 10:50 pm

 
  
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3.

You have raised an interesting question which is always there but not discussed like this on the forum. The Case of Hillary Clinton is an example case of women psychology. Irrespective of whether she loves Bill or not, the main factors which play a role in decision making are the Frustrations arising out of a long relationship and the loss of faith and confidence in Men in general. It is this lack of faith and confidence which holds her from drifting away at such juncture of life. In young couples, the reactions are fast without much of thought, in the hopes still high of starting afresh. Financial security in the form of alimony though an important relief, takes a lot of legal battle and does not come easily. This also makes them reluctant to sue for divorce and stick to maintain Status Quo.
Answered by subhash tiwari, 03 Jan '10 10:48 pm

 
  
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4.

Yes sir..when a married man has both ..then the 1 wife suffer a lot mentally and cannot mentally tolerate the presence of the other woman...but however as she is good just to carry on the family ways she somehowe
controls herself if she is a housewife and if she is liberated educated, working probably she may think of breaking the marriage ties with a divorce...and in Indian conditions the fate of children would face a big problem so for their sake mothers may have to think twice as to what to do next...and nowadays the social status of single lady is not so bad and as many are educated never depend on others for financial support they are confident of running the life smoothly sir...
Answered by sarya mitra, 04 Jan '10 03:23 pm

 
  
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5.

The right approach would be to dump the unfaithful rogue. Now we come to dependency. A single lady would be financially independent in all likelihood so she would most likely walk out of such a relationship. A financially dependent woman is likely to stick around with the lout especially if they have children. We must also consider here that many financially dependent women have nowhere to go and also take age into account and that's another reason why men do such things. In some cases, true forgiveness is there.
Answered by nargis bhambi, 03 Jan '10 11:54 pm

 
  
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6.

Its compromise nothing else ..sometimes in d name of family n children .....sometimes d husbands acceptance of mistake etc............but still this happens
Answered by gaurav shokeen, 03 Jan '10 10:15 pm

 
  
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7.

HMji. This is not forgiveness, Just a compromise.
Just think of Bill clinton, he was lost his level best and huge character assassination.
But now a days Ladies wont forgive or compromise becoz they too are standing in their own legs .
A woman will tolerate anything excpet this. She too tolerate a drunkard etc etc..
Our society too strongly wont accept this....
Answered by hitler, 03 Jan '10 10:04 pm

 
  
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8.

I think you are only interested in bashing men and trying to protect women. Which is not correct. All laws should be equal irrespective of gender. There are women too who are involved in adultry.I have even seen women bearing the children of their boy friends but living with their husband without knowledge of their husband. Modern women are increasingly involved in adultry.
Answered by Decent Desparate, 23 Aug '10 09:39 am

 
  
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9.

Question of forgiveness does not arise. Rather bitter adjustment is being exercised by the wives of our society.And obviously in most cases it is for financial dependency. Moreover as soon as a lady is seperated from her husband, some opportunists make her life as hell. That is also considered by the lady before filing any suit. Indeed, we are far behind from the Europian countries ! Here we can not give the women the same freedom and financial independency which are being enjoyed in those countries. That's the irony and here that's the set back on the part of such victim lady in our society and country. Brother, just think that the "Womens' Bill " have not yet been passed in the Parliament so far. Alas ! How long our women would suffer in the hands of cruel and opportunists husbands ? Regards.
Answered by ashis, 04 Jan '10 01:53 pm

 
  
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10.

The page 3 style is still not accepted in our society.....i donot deny it 4 higher strata of our society.....but on a majority basis no one wud except his/her spose with other! Just check out what happed to Tiger Woods...his life is hell! Forgiveness cud hav some limit....but adultry doesn't! Somewhere...someday the fuse wud blow off...trigerring the bomb!
Answered by harshal kalangutkar, 03 Jan '10 10:48 pm

 
  
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