Using your phone's internet browser
go to:  qna.rediff.com
Click and drag this link to
the Home icon in your browser.
Q.

Many women face lots of problems with their hubby - but cant voice it out. Cant come out of the marriage due to the pressure from the society or afraid that the next marriage could also lead the same way. Opinion please - on what they should do.

Tags: marriage, way, women
Asked by MS Prasad, 01 Nov '07 04:34 pm
  Invite a friend  |  
  Save  |  
 Earn 10 points for answering
Answer this question  Earn 10 points for answering    
4000 characters remaining  
  
    
Keep me signed inNew User? Sign up

Answers (36)

1.

Dear Prasadji, In my opinion if such type of women are facing problem, first of al they should try to talk it out with their hubby seeing the first opportunity and discuss why such husbands behaviour is there, give a second thought of understanding and coming to a conclusion. Then if at all it doesn't work out, I feel its better to be apart then live a life which is full of sorrows and bitterness. Al d best. Take care. Regds Cyrus
Answered by cyrus irani, 06 Nov '07 03:35 pm

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (0)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
2.

It is a `hobson's choice' or Catch 22 situation
Answered by Anil K Chugh, 02 Nov '07 11:39 pm

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (0)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
3.

Who said marriage was easy - the whole idea of living in such close proximity with another means that occasionally the balance will get upset. But by how much - something trivial or something major. Communication with each other is the first important step, to be honest with each other and discuss openly their problems presuming that they both wish to see the marriage on a happy even path. If this doesn't work then I think they should seek conciliation and discuss this thoroughly with a professional advisor - NOT the family. The family are all too close and too prejudiced, they need Impartial advice. Perhaps a trial separation may be beneficial but at the end of the day if the marriage is not working and cannot be saved they owe it to themselves to divorce for the sake of their sanity and well being. If there are children involved it is best for them to live in a happy atmosphere with one parent rather than a miserable atmosphere with 2 angry and arguing parents. Children are ve ...more
Answered by Janis, 02 Nov '07 02:33 pm

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (0)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
4.

Sai Ram. It is not only women but men also (or rather the couples) who face problems of marital discord. Apart from societal pressures, people are in general afraid of change and failure. Counselling is a good solution but is yet to catch up in India. Friends and relatives try but their counselling is not a good substitute for the professional counselling.

Women are better protected legally compared to earlier times.

Next marriage or relationship also may lead to the same result since the basic factors for failure of relationship are same from the person's side.
Answered by Venkateswaraswamy Swarna, 02 Nov '07 11:52 am

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (0)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
5.

In marriages...traditionally it is the woman who has to make lot of adjustments and she is conditioned right from young age that her role is to adjust and adapt to her husband / in-laws......
when there is difficulty in marriages...she stands to lose more...socially, physically, mentally & economically. In indian context, social obligations are more, economically... because the girls father is financially drained in marriages ...and the she feels guilty & hesitates to go back to her parents and become an economic liability to them....and if she has children then it becomes extremely difficult to leave the husband as it seems too selfish to deprive her children off their father and therefore continue to suffer in silence...many women coninue to live a lie either in the hope of changing their husband 's attitude with their love or blame their fate..
Divorce is no easy...there are many things to consider...
1. will her parents stand by her?
2. is she financially indpendent?
3. Doe ...more
Answered by sumitha, 02 Nov '07 06:32 pm

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (1)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
6.

The problem is generated by the men and women are equally responsible for that. First we have to understand the basic cause of the problem. Most of the men look for money and disturb the peace of his own house. Women on contratry, are too demanding, this makes his husband more aggresive towards her. Mind it women are the easiest target for their husbands.
If you say that it is the women only who face problems and not men, I totally disagree this. I take it otherise. Many a men face this problem too but can not leave his wife due to society presuure.
Aadmi ko bhi bahut compromise karna padta hai. He can not leave his wife since his kid have grown up and withing few years they will all seek marriage and if the society finds that the man is without his wife or the kids are without their mothere, they are considerdd of low khandaan so man has to compromise over it.
I do agree that the women suffer the most. In such a case they must try to adjust themself according to the situation and ...more
Answered by Kanha Gokulwasi, 02 Nov '07 03:37 pm

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (1)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
7.

There is a process called - PRODEM - Problem analysis and decision making. Once the problem is analysed she should cull out those that are trivial and only concentrate of major issues. I know of a case where a lady just could not bear her husband not joining her on her outings and she applied for divorce!!
She has to concentrate on survival issues. Since nobody comes out with their problems there is a tendency to think she is the only one with problems. If the problems are that of survival they can live under the same roof and live their life separately. This will both get peace of mind and they will not trample on each other's toes as there will be so many common issues that they will have to share, like children, house, etc. Being incompatible is not a crime. If they understand this much of the situation can be handled with less tension.
Answered by gem mina, 02 Nov '07 11:33 am

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (1)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
8.

If they do not have children, after exploring for good change in many other ways, that women if she is able to stand on her legs financially, can go for divorce, so that she can live as single (inspite of several side effects), or go for a re-maarriage with other good guy (it depends on luck, as in most of the cases, it is difficult to get good guy).
In case if they have children, she need to wait and watch with lot of patience, for the improvement in situation, just for the sake of children. Inspite of this if there is no change, she can take divorce if she can stand on her legs financially and take care of the children. Leaving children to him is not advised, as he may go for second marriage, after it the children might be neglected.
Here re-marriage chances are very less to her, because many men accept a women as wife on second marriage, but do not whole heartedly adopt her existing children.
In many cases I have observed, husbands changed in the long run, when wife just ign ...more
Answered by kesireddy sreedhar, 02 Nov '07 11:15 am

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (1)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
9.

Level 1) Try all available ways & mean to clear the smoke involving if necessary, relatives fm both parties.
Level 2) If nothing works then she shud give an ultimatum & go & stay with her parents / brothers / sisters for a few days. In most cases, husband comes back to his senses as he too has to face a social stigma. But just incase this doesn't happen then
Level 3) Go for seperation. Here is the last chance for both to reconcile. Yet, if for some reasons, this too doesn't work, then most unfortunate & final decision of a divorce.
Level 4) No point in spending a solitary life. The divorced partners shud look forward to a new association & choose their next better half more carefully.

MOST IMPORTANT : Women entangled in such cases shud avoid motherhood at any cost as this may only add to liabilities on both sides.

Dear Prasad, I know how easy it is said than done. Its traumatic. But to give u a simily, compare this with human ailments. For minor health complaints doctor ...more
Answered by Cocktail, 02 Nov '07 10:58 am

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (1)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
10.

A journey of the life of a woman is full of problems. She never gets a chance to live life the way she wants. In unmarried condition, she is being controlled by her parents and brothers. AFter marriag by her husband. Later she is dominited by her kids. Whatever I have said above is true in one way or the other.
Women dont voice out either(mostly) due to social pressure or immense love for her husband who we women regard as God!
If some woman goes for divorce, her life instead of getting better turns to worst.
So we women need to learn and cope with such situations taking them as intimate parts of life.
Answered by Ms Angel, 02 Nov '07 10:04 am

 
  
Report abuse
Useful
 (1)
Not Useful
 (0)
Your vote on this answer has already been received
Previous

Ask a Question

Get answers from the community

600 characters remaining

Related Answer

Q.
A

Nirvana was an American rock band that was formed by singer/guitarist Kurt Cobain and bassist Krist Novoselic in Aberdeen, Washington. Nirvana went th..more

Answered by Shivam