Simon Simpleton was born in London, England.
His mother was Welsh and his father Scottish.
When Simon was eight his mother died.
When Simon was ten his father married an Irish women and suddenly Simon had an Irish sister.
When Simon was twenty four he graduated as a lawyer and took a job in Edinburgh, Scotland.
He is now sixty six.
Why can he not be buried on the banks of Loch Lomond in his favourite village of Luss, in Bonnie Scotland