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Q.

Did you ever try to bridge the gap between generations? Or did you feel suffocated between two generations, for example, between your parents' conservative, orthodox beliefs and your children's forward attitude? How do you handle such situations without hurting anybody's feelings?

Asked by Muktha Radhakrishnan, 03 Dec '09 01:07 pm
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Answers (15)

1.

I myself try to keep in step with changing times. I reconcile myself with changes. I try to bridge the gap between two generations. I always respected my parents conservation and orthodox belief. I tried to pass on those beliefs to my generation as well. I never felt suffocated between them. I tell my children to adopt what is good and shun what is bad. After all I am living in space and time borrowed from the new generation.
Answered by Jack Johnson, 06 Dec '09 07:49 am

 
  
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2.

"Let us accept what we cannot change, improve upon what exists and yet be affable to each other". I feel this holds true in many a situation where it is a clash of different beliefs and perceptions. There will always be a dichotomy in how each generation thinks life should be led and lived. The older generation set in their own ways over such a long period of time find it perplexing that things are changing much beyond their understanding and much too fast. The generational change is always been a perpetual problem over the centuries and but it is more pronounced now. The period after the second world war ended so a world coming out of its old dogmas and coming into a new way of life which witnessed not only far sweeping changes in the economic and political world but as well in the life style. The world was slowly opening up and opening up nevertheless in a way that was at total variance with the old.

We being pretty much isolated to such social changes for a long time due to our ...more
Answered by Omega, 03 Dec '09 05:54 pm

 
  
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3.

Its really a problem for the middle generation to see this huge chasm in generation gap between grandparents and grandchildren. Not in all families but this happens in some families especially when the grandmother interferes in the parent's way of bringing up the children ( the grandfather is much more adjusting). She tries to force her grandchildren to learn old archaic things which have no bearing in today's like. Its just a waste of time and money. Parents understand and don't force things on their children but the grandmother does not understand. Children become more rebellious if they are forced to do things they do not like. Such a situation is very delicate for the parents especially the mother. She cannot openly argue with her MIL too. She has to keep quiet and just advise her children to be patient. Only her husband can help in such maters and he must not blindly believe in his mother.
Answered by Mitali Choudhury, 04 Dec '09 05:35 pm

 
  
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4.

Muktha ji, this is something out of my own life. I acknowledge that like each individual is unique even then we have a common image of a society ... same way our family is also a group of individuals with a common personality. ... but, my family is a very strange mix of some very head strong individuals. They also have a strange mix ... which is conservative/orthodox/forward are individual traits here instead of belonging to a generation!!!

All of them think that on most of the issues they are right... to some extent even I am like that :))) ... but I have inherited from my mother an additional & a unique trait which helps me in most of the circumstances. [when I am angry or agitated I am like any other violent animal, let's leave that alone... here I'll concentrate when I am in an understanding mode/safe mode]. Which is - I try to visualise myself in another person's shoes. This trait has helped me a lot.

So, when any two or more of my family members have this ego clash I don't ...more
Answered by rajneesh Rediff, 03 Dec '09 07:50 pm

 
  
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5.

Hi ,Muktha,We dont have to feel suffocated between two generations.All we need is to have the ACCEPTANCE attitude.If we can accept both the generations with a warm Heart,the suffocation wont be felt.Every generations have their own way which is the result of Civilization and Modernisation, depending upon the inventions in Science and developments in technology ,their influence and growth in every fields.Man always had urge and desire to grow. This desire brings changes in growth and culture.Each generation is considered advanced that the previous generation,Our parents generation is considered advanced or wecan say even fashionable than our Grandparents generation.This is because they are differnt not only in Beliefs but also in every Systems ,Customs and Pattern of life.The same way we are differnt from our parents in Thinking, Doing and Believing.This change is due to the growth in science and technology and our exposure ,education media we face .These factors influnce us and ...more
Answered by Rachana, 03 Dec '09 06:47 pm

 
  
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6.

Fortunately I didnt face such situation in my familiy...bcoz my father and my mother , both are in their seventies, but are very smart n intelligent to make them compatible enough to adjust not only wid their already grown kids but also with grand kids...personally I dont find any problem at all...I try to get myself updated like wats been happening all around in the name of changes....that hepls me to set a limit upon my resistence level....
Answered by bijoy agarwala, 03 Dec '09 06:31 pm

 
  
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7.

Fortunately, in my family, there was enough freedom to express yourselves. My parents had never imposed any rigid conditions except encouraged us always to speak the truth. Punishments , if any, was in the form of maintaining silence for a day or so. The same practice I had continued with my children and sincerely hope it will continue further. We encourage difference of opinion, discuss all problems but leave the decision to be made by the concerned. There was absolutely no fear between children and parents and most of the matter were discussed during lunch/dinner time. My personal feeling is that today's children are very sensitive, intelligent and the elders must learn ways and means to interact with them and guide them properly without forcing on them our views.
Answered by M Shankar, 03 Dec '09 04:57 pm

 
  
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8.

Yeah it happens sometimes. Earlier it was very difficult for me to convince them. & when it came to chose my career I found it more difficult. But somehow I learnt to tackle such situations. & now I am in a position when my parents have blind faith on me I think since world came into existence, there is always a generation gap fight between elders and youngsters. They both have their own beliefs, customs and way to live their life. It becomes very sturdy when both think they are right and no one gets ready to change. From my parents, (I love them a lot) I come to know one thing that elders always want that young should live their life risk-free, should follow customs which are set by their ancestors do appropriate and reputed job. They want youngsters to live the way they lived their life. They feel that business they have done or their ideas are ultimate and perfect and youngsters should lead their life according to their parents. On other hand, Youngsters want to live their life king ...more
Answered by sumati gayki, 03 Dec '09 01:31 pm

 
  
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9.

Its very hard. But we manage with our talking to Explain current situtaion and say some examples in news and tv channel to our parents/grand parents. And ask our children to give respect and ask them to explain own way how to compete with others
Answered by ala, 03 Dec '09 01:21 pm

 
  
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10.

I try to behave in a same manner when I deal with them.With parents I behave like a matured person and with children I become childish.
Answered by krishna bhojwani, 03 Dec '09 01:17 pm

 
  
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