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Q.

Why do majority of people in a relationship (both genders alike) think that, they are God's gift to the other?

We find the best in us and look for the worst in the other. Why can't we think the other way around?

Two Qns. and two answers please from both perspectives.

Asked by Omega, 31 Aug '08 07:12 pm
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Answers (24)

1.

Who can prevent ones own thinking Mr.Omega.
Anyone can think that they are wonder one of the world.
Its there own thought.
But the other person too may think more than that.
There starts all the problems .And as days goes on the real ones nature exposed off.

Next.I always find all the worst in me and used to look the best in others and hence I find no problem at all.
Answered by anantharaman, 01 Sep '08 11:59 am

 
  
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2.

It is true. However, in heart of their heart, they might think so but usually in happier times, they do not reveal these feelings to each other. It comes to the surface during their monthly tiffs. They end up cursing their fate and telling each other they could have got a better mate. At times, they might even add they would have been happier than they are now.

However, they soon forget the things uttered in a fit of rage under the sudden impact of emotions. They make up and believe me such spats bring the couples closer than ever. All couples have been through this sort of things. They all know that this need not be a cause of concern. It is natural to hurt those who you love the most.

The instance you have mentioned in the question is an extreme situation. They might think thus especially when there is absolutely no love between the two. If they seriously think the way you have stated then they are in dire need of counseling. It is a sure sign that such a marriage would soon ...more
Answered by Jack Johnson, 01 Sep '08 01:18 am

 
  
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3.

Some things are human nature.
Answered by Saj Sierra, 31 Aug '08 08:09 pm

 
  
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4.

1) Well don't know about the majority because I have never taken an opinion poll. But the women I have spoken to about related topics always say, that had they not been around their husbands could not exist. You're asking me why? Maybe their husbands give them the impression that had it not been for their wives their very survival would have been at stake. Thus the wives feel they are God's gift to their men.
Husbands also I suppose tell their wives that had they not been born then their wives would have remained unmarried till their death.. and so they are God's gift to their wives.
2) The second question has to do with one's ego I suppose. It requires a person without ego to admit that he/she is not the best in the world and the other person is always better. I don't think there are such persons alive and kicking in kaliyug.
Answered by joyoti sen, 31 Aug '08 07:29 pm

 
  
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5.

We like to be believe that we are strong, independent, caring and loving all the time despite any odds. I think we look upon ourselves as a breath of fresh air that has sailed into the other's life. We are highly educated, have seen the world, look good, talk good, have the best manners. In short, we are perfect!

Yes, we need to take a look at our faults too because we do have them. Maybe we're not so perfect after all. And, we need to dwell on the good points of the other person who no doubt has plenty. The sooner we shatter the image we have of being the gift of God to the other, the happier we'll be. And, the relationship will be more grounded.
Answered by nargis bhambi, 31 Aug '08 07:43 pm

 
  
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6.

I think expectations give rise to more expectations .
When we are in search for a partner we think to have the best of the best .While hoping this we raise the bars of our expectations .Here a general fault occurs and we put ourselves on a pedestal from where we seem like a god sent gift .
We are not able to see our faults .
Here a situation develops where both the partners think same about themselves
Being on a high pedestal they tend to ignore own faults .Now the minor faults keep on cropping and this widens the gap .Communication gap widens .The feelers which are too important in a relation do not go across .And relation is close to a colapse
Answered by minticool, 31 Aug '08 07:28 pm

 
  
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7.

Beautiful question Omega ji, I must say.I have answered a similar question of Mr Rajneesh Rediff today only to my best efforts so it might look repetitive to those persons who have already gone through that answer of mine but my mind is yet in developing state n I cant gather so many new ideas on a similar subject within hours :-))

Actually it's a tough one to answer for me as I have never been in such kinda relationship with anyone like you people nor have seen dominating women in my life.Such feelings are felt more by men than women.The feeling of being 2nd/next to men is so deeply implanted among maximum women that they get satisfied every time they saw their hubbies n kids.They cant even think on this line.They are taught to be polite n shy from childhood just opposite to their male counterpart in our hypocrite country.Most of them believe that their hubbies are god gifted to em.
On the contrary in metros, the trend has somehow changed n things look much balanced(not fully).
T ...more
Answered by prashant sharma, 31 Aug '08 08:52 pm

 
  
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8.

Most of us function/relate at very superficial levels...it takes Unflinching honesty to accept our own real selves...
When a relationship is in conflict, we check where the other person went wrong rather than what's been our shortcoming....
We need to overlook the "ME FIRST" syndrome...focused attention intensely on happiness and goodness and things wont be so bad!
Answered by ananya, 04 Sep '08 12:35 am

 
  
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9.

Because we have a set of qualities which we think are the ultimate. I dunno comrade, since you said you wanted an answer w/a genuine heart, I'll make it as cut as possible.

I like Stalinist dictatorships, single party rule in homes. And I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.....did I say....H A T E....... .....nagging. As long as I'm not nagged over vodka or during navaratri night, and as long as the girl has an agrarian mentality, I am more or less a-ok.

I don't involve too much in the home anyways, for me, the wife is there to upkeep the family, and to take care of elders & kids. I think it best to take in a trusted comrade in whatever form for your own stress relief. This way, when everyone has a specialized role in the family, and when borders are pre-defined, instances of "man why am I so awesome but my partner blow so much goat" kinds of thoughts don't arise.

I never bothered thinking about "the best" or "the worst" honestly speaking. There are just two things which I s ...more
Answered by A Moin, 31 Aug '08 08:02 pm

 
  
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10.

Well, as is my forte I shall be frank here.

I never felt this way but over the years when I heard some people introducing themselves or when they boast about their abilities & conquests this is the impressions I used to get in my mind... but I don't think it is very rampant as one can easily sense the insecurity under that sheet of bravado or nonchalance. When people are not confident enough about their abilities and virtues they tend to show off much, this is their defense mechanism which makes them aware of the competition and rivals and tells them to upsell themselves in order to compete with their rivals.

Old Indian values never taught us to find the best in us and look for the worst in others. In fact, in my view, the answer to your second question lies in the first question. Only a self - confident person can think (as you said) the other way around.

(As is my habit, I don't read others' answers before answering so I am not aware how much uproar or acceptance my respon ...more
Answered by rajneesh Rediff, 31 Aug '08 07:45 pm

 
  
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